Monday, November 10, 2003
A math lesson for Stinky-Poo Poo :)
At New York Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a
public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule and a
calculator.
Attorney general john Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious
al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math
instruction.
"Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed", Ashcroft said. "They desire
average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent
in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with
names like, "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as
"unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part
of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country."
As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to
every angle.
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted
us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more
fingers and toes.
A member of the Presidential group, who spoke without attribution said, "I'm
extremely grateful that our government has given us a sine that it is intent
on protracting us from these math-dogs who are so willing to disintegrate us
with calculus disregard. These statistic bastards love to inflict plane on
every sphere of influence. Under the circumferences, it's time we
differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line."
President Bush said, "these weapons of math instruction have the potential
to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we
become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of
vertex."
Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my
ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of---though they continue
to multiply, their days are numbered and the hypotenuse will tighten around
their necks."
posted by Sandy@ 6:22 PM
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